So today I am feeling slightly philosophical... Just one of those days of 'deep' thoughts of the future and my life... Not sure if I can coherently put it all on paper (on screen), but I'll give it a shot.
Let's start with one of those thoughts that just happened a few minutes ago. I was just walking back from the bus stop, on my way home from school. I got off, crossed the street, and started walking down the sidewalk. About 30 seconds later, I hear a LOUD squeal of tires behind me and look back, scared for what I might find there. Just at the intersection I had crossed half a minute ago were two cars in a near collision. They hadn't actually crashed, but it was close. It got me thinking, what if I had dawdled for 30 seconds after getting off the bus stop? What if the bus had been delayed another 30 seconds, what if there was one other passenger on the bus, that resulted in the bus stopping in one more stop before mine? Could my life have been changed by that meer 30 seconds? What if there actually had been a collision, due to me walking across the street? Could I have been hit? Maybe, maybe not. I'll never know (thankfully!) ... But I've always been a 'what if' kind of person, theorizing the possibilities - if one thing had changed only slightly, could the future be dramatically different? And would I have been ok with the results? Say, I had died at that intersection. Not a nice thought, I know, but would I have been ok with the life I've lived thus far? Have I done what I've wanted? Have I served my God to the full extent? Do I have any regrets?
I've been thinking lately, that it's time to live life to the fullest. There's an opportunity that's arisen - don't know how it will play out, yet, though. There's this program that I want to apply for, where, if I was accepted, I'd travel across the country and live there for 9 months starting in September, working as a teaching assistant. This would be such an amazing opportunity. I also have two other options I'm looking in to: Bible school, or else this other program where I'd travel across the country and go to school for 5 weeks (the government will pay for most of it)... So I don't know. I'm going to apply to all three and see what happens. I'm tired of just living my life with every day being the same. I want excitement. I want to travel. I want to trust in God for everything. And I don't want to have any regrets when I die.
A verse keeps popping up in my life: Jeremiah 29:11 - "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, to give you a hope and a future." I'm speaking on it in two weeks at my church's pre-teen youth group. I love it because it's a great reminder that our life is not in our own hands, that fate does not control us, accidents don't happen: everything can be used for God's purpose for those who believe. It's really crazy how much this verse keeps popping up. For instance, last week at the pre-teen youth group, we were cleaning up upstairs after having one of our events we call "Mission Possible." It's a big event, full of blacklights, strobe lights, video games, treats like chocolate bars, chips and pop... It's a lot of fun. Well, anyways, we were cleaning up, and I was bringing something downstairs...? I think that's what I was doing. I don't even remember now. Well, there's the younger kids' program that goes on downstairs at the same time as our pre-teen program goes on. They were already pretty much cleaned up downstairs, but the children's pastor and another lady were downstairs, chatting still. Just when I'm about to leave, I pass the children's pastor, who asks the lady if something on the table is hers. She replies "no," and so the children's pastor asks me if it's mine. I say no, but have a look at it anyways. It's what appears to be a scroll of paper. We unravel it, and can you guess what was written on it? Jeremiah 29:11. I couldn't believe it. I told the children's pastor and the lady that it was my favourite verse in the Bible, and that I was speaking on it at the pre-teen youth group in a couple of weeks. We start to laugh a bit, and the Children's Pastor told me, "Well, I think God wants you to have this, Marian." So now I have a scroll in my school book bag... we'll see what exactly God wants me to do with it!!! And my life!!
